The Art of Fettling

 Men everywhere, and many women too, will understand this, the craving to disappear into the shed or cave to fix, tune, repair or just mess around with stuff, it is a great time killer and whole days can dissolve into a tea and biscuit fuelled ingenuity fest. After my last bivvy ride I felt I needed to make a few changes to the bike to help it....cope with my weight and make it more comfortable and durable, the first thing to go was to sort a new set of wheels, I had been running a set of 700c wheels, Hope Pro4/ SP PD8 dyne hub on Halo Vapour XC rims, a solid set of wheels, bit with me and a load on the bike, I felt a little delicate when riding, so a new set was built, Hope Pro 5 hubs on Halo Vapour 35 rims, good solid wheels with some nice 2.6 Vittoira Mezcals, a little over kill, but so is the excess weight I am carrying. Next up was the handlebars, I liked the Surly Sunrise bars but the crossbar made it difficult to run battery light on there so a set of Moto Bars from Stooge cycle was bolted into place, I run these on my fat bike and I find the sweep dead on and they are super comfy, the problem is I have now is that the stack height is a little low, I simply don't have the upper body/core strength yet to support me fully, my 2 mile loop that I am doing to get me started left me feeling pretty sore in the back and shoulder area, I am tested to soldier on with it and hope I get stronger but I feel additional exercise and a more upright stem to lift my position until I am lighter/stronger, I do need to sort some comfier grip out, the cheapo grips from an old bike are on there now and in all honesty, they are not nice at all, that and swapping to my old SDG saddle will make this a breeze to ride.

Once I have made a few more tweaks and put some more loops in I am going to start thinking about taking a trip to the trails on the Quantocks for a little fun, maybe once a month, the current plan is a month of 2-3 mile loops, see how I progress, September is then building on the longer loop and doing laps with occasional trips to a couple of car free gravel paths I know, sadly not entirely local but it means a morning out with my wife and then some lunch, make it into a treat and the chore goes away.

With Autumn and winter on the horizon, something I am excited about, I don't mind admitting it at all, I have a plan to reassemble my Genesis Croix de Fer, with the bars and wheels that were originally meant for it it would make sense to get it built again with the dynamo lights and full fenders it will be a great winter ride and bike to use for my errands around the town, I found the bike a little difficult to ride when I picked it up as it suffers from toe overlap when fenders are fitted, I know this is not always a problem, but when you are struggling with confidence as I am right now it was a no go hence the Bridge Club frame purchase, this will give me three bikes again, but they will be very different horses for courses, I might even sell my 29+ wheel set for the fat bike, food for thought but that is a million miles down the road right now.

I have all this and a million things currently running through my head, I had my annual MRI scan this month, although the results were good it did not go so straight forward, I am trying not to dwell on the day, but whet should have been a 30 min in and out rolled into nearly 90 mins and as a result I have not been in a great place and I have been struggling...a lot, I am slowly pushing past it but it is not easy, I have missed too many days work so Now I am stressed and life soon starts to snowball, my ride this week help loads and I have had loads of support from friends and loved ones which is cool, I am planning on getting out again this weekend, I think I will be dodging the rain and holiday makers, never mind, Autumn is coming John Snow, and I know I come alive then.

Back under the stars.

 25th November, 2021, that was the last time I was out sleeping under the stars, in the 12 months that followed my life was turned upside down and the life changes that happened left me doubting if another night out was ever going to happen. Bringing it forward to June 21st, 2025, a date that has been in my calendar since the beginning of the year when the idea was hatched, to finally get out and about, it was never going to be a tale of epic trails and lung busting climbs, this weekend was more about smiles than the miles. We planned on using a drop off point fairly close to our our night stay, probably about a mile and a bit roll along the canal path to one of our favourite over night stops, in terms of bivvy locations it is pretty much five star accommodation, great views all around, benches and seats and plenty of shelter and shade, only downside is the constant sound of water as the lock gate overflow gushes out. I have slept here in every condition, snow, rain, gale force winds and biting cold, never had a bad night, access was easy so it made for a perfect spot. As the day progressed my energy levels drop very sharply, from mid afternoon I fade very quickly, so we decided to get out early and get set up, by 4pm we had picked up additional snacks and had met up with two more friends and were rolling in convoy the short distance to the spot, our final member was to arrive a few hours later.

We sat, we chilled out and ate and drank, just friends getting together and enjoying be in the great outdoors, the canal traffic was surprisingly light, it was probably too hot for most people, although the pubs we passed on the way over here looks to be quite full. The chat was wide and varied, for some of us it had been over three years since we last got together, no one's fault, just life.

It hit 10pm and the sun was almost fully set, so were my energy levels so I headed to my sleeping bag, I was trying out my new sleep kit for the first time, a wide fit Nemo Tensor sleep mat and a Big Agnes Lost ranger 3 in 1 bag (just the base part) Sleep was not great, I would swing between too hot and cold all night, half out of my bag and the breeze chilled me too much, snuggle in the bag and I was too hot. I came round a few times in the night, the moonrise was an few hours before sunrise and in almost the same path, sat in my sleeping bag watching the Red Crescent moon rise was captivating, as dawn approached it climbed higher and a planet followed just below it, I feel I should know what one it was but I was just enjoying the moment as I drifted in and out of sleep.

Sunrise finally arrived and I lay there for a little longer, feeling the temperature increase as the sun hit my sleep spot, thankfully the breeze was still there keeping things cool, an hour later and the desire for a hot drink overpowered my comfort zone and I got up, set my stove going and aired out my sleep kit while I waited for my hot chocolate to boil, the sound of the stove called out to my companions for the night and like zombies rising from their graves they rose and lumbered towards me, we shared out the last of the water and had breakfast together before packing up, we chatted for a few more hours, it was great that none of us had to race off to get home first thing, it made for a more chilled and relaxed start to the day.

For a first time back on the wagon so to speak it was good, an almost ideal day to enjoy being back outside again, I still have a million miles to go with my recovery to be even remotely as fit as I was prior to the tumour, but it is an important step and the next one is already being pencilled in for November. So what did I take from this trip, well one, I hate using my phone camera, I need a compact option that I can carry and not worry too much about, I need to address the loading on my bike, it was okay, just not quite there, lastly I need some stronger wheels, I have put on a lot of weight in the last four years, not by choice or by behaviour, the 700c wheels on the bike were originally for another bike, I am looking to get a basic set of 27.5" wheels built up, 36 hole, that will help me feel more confident about the durability of the bike. Next up is follow my physio and neurosurgeons advice and start the rebuilding process, there is lots to do and rest assured I will blog as much as I can of it.

Starting again.

 Hi, and welcome to the first post of my new blog, I thought a little catch up for my first post would be a good idea, a chance to understand the past few years, and what has brought me to this point in time.

As I write this it is the second anniversary of my craniotomy to remove a brain tumour that had been creating chaos for at least two years, my first serious symptom was the first month of Covid lock down back in 2020, what I first thought was severe cramp in my foot was later recognised as a seizure, a few more cramping sessions and I managed to get a doctors appointment, my cramping was accredited to my lifestyle and physio was recommended, as covid was still in full swing I carried on trying my best to carry on as normal, that was until early 2022 when a seizure caused me to pop a disc in my back, a side effect of which was a condition known as drop foot, again the tumour went undiagnosed, by this point I was in serious trouble, I was barely able to walk and working was becoming difficult, it wasn't until late July 2022 that things turned very serious, my seizures were now affecting not just my foot, but had spread to affect the whole right hand side of my body, thankfully this time a diagnosis of epilepsy was predicted and an appointment to see the specialist later that month, the tumour had other plans, I was under instruction to call for an ambulance should another seizure strike, this was to happen on the 13th August 2022. Normally the seizure would cease after a few minutes, however on this occasion this was not the case and the seizure would continue unchecked until the prompt arrival of the paramedics who quickly got everything under control so I could be taken to Musgrove Hospital in Taunton. It was here at 2-3am , after a few scans that I was given the news that I had a brain tumour, the next couple of weeks were gong to become a blur, the A&E doctor was brilliant as were the nurses and staff in Musgrove, being a Wednesday the Doctor was aware that the Neurology team was due to meet that morning to discuss their future cases, he rapidly assembled all the notes and forwarded them to the Neurology team at Southmead Hospital in Bristol. A few days in Musgrove to make sure I was stable and I got a call from my Neurologist setting up a pre surgery appointment and a provision surgery day, from diagnosis to removal was to be a sum total of 11 days.

The surgery was the easy part, there was no pain post surgery, I spent 10 hours on the table with two teams working on debulking my tumour, a few days of physio making sure I was capable of moving around at home own my own, at this point walking was as it was prior to the surgery, very difficult, I almost dragged my right leg around the ward as I took some exercise, after a few days I was released to go home, some how it was now September, the last date I clearly remember was sometime in July, the past few weeks had been a blur within a whirlwind. The next couple of months were spent learning to walk again, as the swelling eased in the brain some of the motor control to my right leg returned and December saw a return to work albeit only a day or two of half days a week.

As of writing I am now 2.5 years post op, still the struggle goes on, I am constantly fighting fatigue, the effects of surgery and my medications both suck all of the energy I have. Every thing I do takes twice as much energy as it would normally, to use a car as an example, my energy is fuel, except the fuel lines are leaking, I wake up with 3/4 of a tank of fuel each day regardless of how much or the quality of my sleep. This said, I am improving, I am better at managing my energy levels and learning how or what drains me, I am even starting to enjoy hobbies that I have not been able to enjoy for a few years such as getting out with my camera, I am reaching the point now that I feel almost confident enough to ride my bicycle, something that I have wanted to do for such a long time.

In another post I might go into the other side effects of the tumour, the mental and emotional changes that I have undergone, I know that the person I was before is dead a buried, I will most likely never be as I was, but I have a rare chance to start again with what is a slightly wonky canvass. Thanks for taking the time to read through this post, from here onwards I hope to being some colour and fun as I work past my problems and start enjoying life again.