Back under the stars.

 25th November, 2021, that was the last time I was out sleeping under the stars, in the 12 months that followed my life was turned upside down and the life changes that happened left me doubting if another night out was ever going to happen. Bringing it forward to June 21st, 2025, a date that has been in my calendar since the beginning of the year when the idea was hatched, to finally get out and about, it was never going to be a tale of epic trails and lung busting climbs, this weekend was more about smiles than the miles. We planned on using a drop off point fairly close to our our night stay, probably about a mile and a bit roll along the canal path to one of our favourite over night stops, in terms of bivvy locations it is pretty much five star accommodation, great views all around, benches and seats and plenty of shelter and shade, only downside is the constant sound of water as the lock gate overflow gushes out. I have slept here in every condition, snow, rain, gale force winds and biting cold, never had a bad night, access was easy so it made for a perfect spot. As the day progressed my energy levels drop very sharply, from mid afternoon I fade very quickly, so we decided to get out early and get set up, by 4pm we had picked up additional snacks and had met up with two more friends and were rolling in convoy the short distance to the spot, our final member was to arrive a few hours later.

We sat, we chilled out and ate and drank, just friends getting together and enjoying be in the great outdoors, the canal traffic was surprisingly light, it was probably too hot for most people, although the pubs we passed on the way over here looks to be quite full. The chat was wide and varied, for some of us it had been over three years since we last got together, no one's fault, just life.

It hit 10pm and the sun was almost fully set, so were my energy levels so I headed to my sleeping bag, I was trying out my new sleep kit for the first time, a wide fit Nemo Tensor sleep mat and a Big Agnes Lost ranger 3 in 1 bag (just the base part) Sleep was not great, I would swing between too hot and cold all night, half out of my bag and the breeze chilled me too much, snuggle in the bag and I was too hot. I came round a few times in the night, the moonrise was an few hours before sunrise and in almost the same path, sat in my sleeping bag watching the Red Crescent moon rise was captivating, as dawn approached it climbed higher and a planet followed just below it, I feel I should know what one it was but I was just enjoying the moment as I drifted in and out of sleep.

Sunrise finally arrived and I lay there for a little longer, feeling the temperature increase as the sun hit my sleep spot, thankfully the breeze was still there keeping things cool, an hour later and the desire for a hot drink overpowered my comfort zone and I got up, set my stove going and aired out my sleep kit while I waited for my hot chocolate to boil, the sound of the stove called out to my companions for the night and like zombies rising from their graves they rose and lumbered towards me, we shared out the last of the water and had breakfast together before packing up, we chatted for a few more hours, it was great that none of us had to race off to get home first thing, it made for a more chilled and relaxed start to the day.

For a first time back on the wagon so to speak it was good, an almost ideal day to enjoy being back outside again, I still have a million miles to go with my recovery to be even remotely as fit as I was prior to the tumour, but it is an important step and the next one is already being pencilled in for November. So what did I take from this trip, well one, I hate using my phone camera, I need a compact option that I can carry and not worry too much about, I need to address the loading on my bike, it was okay, just not quite there, lastly I need some stronger wheels, I have put on a lot of weight in the last four years, not by choice or by behaviour, the 700c wheels on the bike were originally for another bike, I am looking to get a basic set of 27.5" wheels built up, 36 hole, that will help me feel more confident about the durability of the bike. Next up is follow my physio and neurosurgeons advice and start the rebuilding process, there is lots to do and rest assured I will blog as much as I can of it.

Starting again.

 Hi, and welcome to the first post of my new blog, I thought a little catch up for my first post would be a good idea, a chance to understand the past few years, and what has brought me to this point in time.

As I write this it is the second anniversary of my craniotomy to remove a brain tumour that had been creating chaos for at least two years, my first serious symptom was the first month of Covid lock down back in 2020, what I first thought was severe cramp in my foot was later recognised as a seizure, a few more cramping sessions and I managed to get a doctors appointment, my cramping was accredited to my lifestyle and physio was recommended, as covid was still in full swing I carried on trying my best to carry on as normal, that was until early 2022 when a seizure caused me to pop a disc in my back, a side effect of which was a condition known as drop foot, again the tumour went undiagnosed, by this point I was in serious trouble, I was barely able to walk and working was becoming difficult, it wasn't until late July 2022 that things turned very serious, my seizures were now affecting not just my foot, but had spread to affect the whole right hand side of my body, thankfully this time a diagnosis of epilepsy was predicted and an appointment to see the specialist later that month, the tumour had other plans, I was under instruction to call for an ambulance should another seizure strike, this was to happen on the 13th August 2022. Normally the seizure would cease after a few minutes, however on this occasion this was not the case and the seizure would continue unchecked until the prompt arrival of the paramedics who quickly got everything under control so I could be taken to Musgrove Hospital in Taunton. It was here at 2-3am , after a few scans that I was given the news that I had a brain tumour, the next couple of weeks were gong to become a blur, the A&E doctor was brilliant as were the nurses and staff in Musgrove, being a Wednesday the Doctor was aware that the Neurology team was due to meet that morning to discuss their future cases, he rapidly assembled all the notes and forwarded them to the Neurology team at Southmead Hospital in Bristol. A few days in Musgrove to make sure I was stable and I got a call from my Neurologist setting up a pre surgery appointment and a provision surgery day, from diagnosis to removal was to be a sum total of 11 days.

The surgery was the easy part, there was no pain post surgery, I spent 10 hours on the table with two teams working on debulking my tumour, a few days of physio making sure I was capable of moving around at home own my own, at this point walking was as it was prior to the surgery, very difficult, I almost dragged my right leg around the ward as I took some exercise, after a few days I was released to go home, some how it was now September, the last date I clearly remember was sometime in July, the past few weeks had been a blur within a whirlwind. The next couple of months were spent learning to walk again, as the swelling eased in the brain some of the motor control to my right leg returned and December saw a return to work albeit only a day or two of half days a week.

As of writing I am now 2.5 years post op, still the struggle goes on, I am constantly fighting fatigue, the effects of surgery and my medications both suck all of the energy I have. Every thing I do takes twice as much energy as it would normally, to use a car as an example, my energy is fuel, except the fuel lines are leaking, I wake up with 3/4 of a tank of fuel each day regardless of how much or the quality of my sleep. This said, I am improving, I am better at managing my energy levels and learning how or what drains me, I am even starting to enjoy hobbies that I have not been able to enjoy for a few years such as getting out with my camera, I am reaching the point now that I feel almost confident enough to ride my bicycle, something that I have wanted to do for such a long time.

In another post I might go into the other side effects of the tumour, the mental and emotional changes that I have undergone, I know that the person I was before is dead a buried, I will most likely never be as I was, but I have a rare chance to start again with what is a slightly wonky canvass. Thanks for taking the time to read through this post, from here onwards I hope to being some colour and fun as I work past my problems and start enjoying life again.